The desire for immortality is one to that many devote their lives. People will spend their whole life to find everlasting mortality, only to die looking for it. But, what good is immortality? The world will still turn, days will pass, and people will die, and the one still standing, watching the rubble fall and be rebuilt around them, will slowly become numb to the reason people find joy in living in the first place. Immortality is nothing but a curse that disguises itself as a blessing, luring people into its graces and beauty, and then trapping people into its deception and torture. The ones who gain immortality are the ones who have never sought it in the first place, the ones who ache each day for sweet release, but each time it gets close, it is stolen from them.
Sebastian is not a special man. He never was. But from an outside view, many would see him as a legend and a God. A man who held the soul of himself and others inside of him, a man that was not just a man, no, he was also an animal. But to be an animal means to succumb to animalistic instincts, instincts that no human, at least a sane human, would ever agree to. Sebastian never agreed to be the man he was. His life was not his choice. He was born with this ridealong soul, born with the hatred of himself and who he was. He was born to relieve that hatred over and over again, never finding peace in death. His only peace in life was with an elf. Like the rest of his life, he didn’t choose to fall into a pleasant life with a man who became his other half, and if he was asked now, he would say he’d prefer if he never met the elf in the first place if it meant that innocent elf would be safe and he could die as every man should. However, he can’t choose that himself. And now this man, a man who has lived too many lives, continues to walk the planes in hopes of simply falling back in Alexander’s arms and closing his eyes for the rest of time. Because no one should be immortal.
–—
Alexander mainly kept to himself, staying in his small town and exploring his hobbies. The elf owned a clothing store in the village, falling in love with designing women’s and men’s clothing. The clothes he wore tended to cross the line of men’s clothes and let women’s fashion bleed through. He was pairing suit trousers with corsets and dress skirts with button-ups. Many found it disgusting and unnerving and tried not to stare while buying from him. Alexander never minded. He was doing what he loved and wasn’t planning on stopping.
At age 100, a dirty, tall, and shaggy-haired man came into Alexander’s shop, seemingly splattered with blood, and looking nervous. Alexander had seen many types of people walk through this town, and the sight of this stranger did not phase him. He took a cleaning rag from behind the counter and grabbed a new shirt from his racks as he made his way over to the stranger. This bloodied man’s name was Sebastian. Sebastian was taken aback, but he watched this handsome seamstress helping him with no questions asked, and he couldn’t stop but stare at this beauty.
“Let me help,” Alexander said as he walked up to him. He cleaned some of the blood off of the other’s face, only assuming this man was a fight with some beast as every other visitor in this town could be. He looked up at him and met his eyes. “Do you often stare like that?” Alexander asked with a small smile pulling at his lips.
“Oh… no… I am sorry, I can stop-” Sebastian said, his voice was gruff, sounding like he hadn’t spoken in quite some time.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t mind… But maybe you should buy me dinner after this to make up for it,” Alexander said, looking up at the blond man. “I am giving you a shirt for free,” Alexander said with a small shrug and took a step back. There was no hesitation to Sebastian’s agreement, and once his face was clean and he was in a new shirt, the two headed off to a nearby tavern for food and drink.
“I have not seen you around here. And your entrance tells me you didn’t expect to be here either,” Alexander started once they were eating. Bloodied people came to his shop here and there, but they would usually say something. This stranger just came in with fear on his face. Alexander was not one to judge, but he was nosey.
“You’re right. I was running, it was early nightfall, and I could barely tell where I was going, but once the sun rose, I saw this village.” He first explained. “I am grateful to you. You didn’t ask anything. You just… helped me,” Sebastian said and smiled, his cheek muscles aching as he did since it was a facial reaction he barely used. He was a rather large man, taking up the doorframe with height and muscle. His hair was greasy, but it seemed from a good day of hard work rather than being unclean. Adorning his face was a deep scar from the corner of his lip, past his eye, and ending at the forehead.
“I won’t ask about the blood right now, but it will continue to nag at me if I don’t learn,” Alexander said afterward. “I also promise it will be between us,” He said with a wink at the end, wanting to hear of this man’s adventures but having a slight feeling there was more to it than met the eye. Alexander couldn’t place where this strange confidence was coming from in himself, but something inside of him told him not to fear the man across from him – something was telling him that Sebastian was here with him for a reason. Sebastian nodded, somehow trusting him, the thought that Alexander could be lying not even crossing his mind. To make light, and try to get the man to speak naturally, Alexander continued to talk.
“Bloodied and battered people come in all the time. They just had a big fight, they took down some wolves, or whatever it is. Some would rather buy new clothes than wash them, and I sure as Hell don’t mind.” Alexander spoke. “But, I did want my shop to be more than just a new shirt shop. I design everything in there, you know. It’s all my creations and all made by hand. I love it. And when the occasional Queen or Prince come in, they buy through my whole shop. Those are great days…” Alexander said as if he was talking to a long-time friend. Somehow it was easy to talk to the man across from him. “What I mean is, the blood didn’t alarm me as much as you think it did,” He ended.
As Sebastian finished his chicken leg, listening to Alexander speak, he placed the bone down and looked at the elf across from him. “The blood…” he started, his voice showing signs of reluctance but need to get this out.
“Yes, take your time; there is no rush. I am here to listen,” Alexander looked at him, curiosity in his eyes. A change from the fear that Sebastian is used to.
“It’s human – or, well, humanoid blood. It always is… It’s never animal.” He said and paused for a moment, looking to see if this man was going to run away. He then continued. “I’ve killed so many that with each slice and blood trail, I become less and less of a human myself…” Sebastian spoke, his voice soft as if he was nervous for something inside him to hear. Alexander still didn’t flinch, staying quiet to allow the man to continue. “I am compelled to kill as if it is in my nature to kill and pillage.” The last two words caused his eyes to flicker from their normal blue to a soft glowing yellow. “Like there is something inside of me instructing me to hurt people – for no good reason other than because I can.” His eyes faded back to blue, and they looked at the elf, afraid he’d have run off at this point.
“Something else inside of you?” Alexander asked, still sitting there, watching and listening as no one else has before. Sebastian nodded and looked at his hands, where he simply let his hands shift into those of a tiger’s paw, long claws growing out of them and beautiful orange and black fur over his hands.
“There is another soul living inside of me. I’ve had it since I can remember. He talks and poisons my mind… Sometimes he protects me, but he uses me for his own evil will. I don’t want to kill – I have hurt so many people and don’t want to hurt more. I just… I just want to live…” He said as the paws turned back into his hands, and he looked to Alexander.
“You don’t want to kill, then?” He asked as if the answer was that easy. Sebastian shook his head. “Then come on, I live on top of my shop. You will stay with me, and we will learn together,” Alexander said, smiling down at him and holding his hand out for the other to take, to come with him, and take on this adventure.
While Alexander usually didn’t go out of his way to make friends, something called to him when he looked at this man. Something in him told him that Sebastian was meant to be here with him right now. Meeting him was not accidental. That is why he helped him in the first place, and now he was going to give the man the happiness he so clearly deserved.
–—
From that day forward, the two lived together, studied together, and when Alexander was sewing something, Sebastian was fixing something around the house or cooking their dinner. They made an excellent pair, each filling each other’s faults. It didn’t take long for them to fall into a pattern of domestic love and fall in love with each other. During this time, Sebastian didn’t kill. The soul inside of him was now quiet. No more bodies turned up with claw marks littering their faces and torsos. The two of them worked together to learn what was occupying Sebastian’s mind, and with some research and long nights of Sebastian trying to let the soul talk but not act, they soon were able to figure it out.
Inside this man was a beast that lived off of hunting, primal instincts, and those characteristics that matched a tiger. Some nights, the tiger’s soul took a liking to Alexander, allowing Sebastian’s body to be still and calm. Then others, the soul caused Sebastian to be tied to a bed with yards and yards of rope. However, Alexander kept going, not wanting to quit on Sebastian living a happy single soul life.
“It will be okay, I promise. These bursts only last a few hours, Sebastian,” Alexander reassured as the large man was convulsing on the bed as Alex was tying him to the bedposts on a particularly rough night. Sebastian let out demonic growls, eyes shimmering gold with his nails sharpened to a point. “It’s okay, you’re safe,” Alex repeated over and over as he finally got him tied, then grabbed a bucket with water and a rag and started to drag it along Sebastian’s forehead, cooling him down and trying to soothe him.
“Let me out!” Sebastian roared, but this voice was not of the man Alexander had grown a longing to. This was the voice of a strained animalistic soul needing to act on its instincts. “Alexander!”
“No, you don’t need to hurt people. You are hurting Sebastian. Let him live, you don’t need to kill. You will survive,” Alexander tried to explain, making sure that Sebastian’s body was safe during this breakdown. It took a few hours for the growling and scream to subside, and soon Sebastian lay there, tears down his face from the exertion of it all.
“I am…sorry,” A voice said from Sebastian. It was the other souls as before, but it was quieter, acknowledging the pain it was putting Sebastian through. And after that, the gold left Sebastian’s eyes, and Sebastian was back in control.
The tiger’s soul never left, but it seemed to quiet down, only coming out a few times a month to check in on Alexander and make sure he was happy and safe… The soul, just as Sebastian himself, learned to love Alexander.
–—
After a few years, the two men grew a life together, and Sebastian knew the next step needed to be taken in their lives. Sebastian had found a peace he had never felt in his life. The other soul seemed to be tamed by Alexander, and now both souls lived in peace. Sebastian could be free. Alexander became everything to the man, and he wasn’t going to let that happiness go.
He invited his partner out to a picnic in the nearby woods. Sebastian had scouted out the perfect spot the last week, finding an area of flat grasslands with wildflowers circling it. He brought sandwiches, wine (a lovely wine he had saved up for months to get), a blanket to sit on, and of course, a ring. The ring was simple, a silver band with an engraving of their initials.
Alexander was amazed at the date he was being brought on. The two of them ate, and soon Alexander looked at him. “I can’t see my life without you. Without either of you,” He said to Sebastian and to the other soul that lay peaceful inside of him.
“Neither can I,” Sebastian said and fumbling around in his pocket for a moment before he finally pulled out a small wooden box. “And I never want to,” He added and opened the box to show the delicate and beautiful ring. Alexander let out a gasp before leaping onto the man in front of him and repeating, “Yes!” a dozen times.
Both men cried, hugging and holding each other as they took the rest of the picnic to envision their future. Sebastian was already talking about the layout of the new home he would build for the both of them and let Alexander’s clothing shop expand to the second floor. Alexander spoke about the plan for his outfit, wanting to create something beautiful for their wedding. He had to make it perfect as he had been waiting for this day since that first meeting in his shop.
—
Their new home was built, and Alexander’s shop doubled in size. The house was on the edge of town by the woods. Sebastian gave Alexander his own study to tend to his hobbies and added large windows to look out to the trees. The two men became the most well-known couple in the village, and Alexander’s sewing shop was known in towns around the land.
At the age of 130, Alexander and Sebastian had been together for 30 years. They never seemed to get over how much they were in love. Any public dates made the other townspeople groan. Most likely because their own marriages were never as good as the beast and his beauty. On their 30th anniversary, they both knew they had to do something big. They wanted to celebrate their love, and Sebastian had even saved up for a new ring to add to the other’s finger. It was a new silver band, but it had a diamond in the middle this time. Sebastian brought the two to a lovely eatery in the town, one where he knew they could have a private table in the corner where they could eat in peace.
However, their peaceful dinner only lasted so long. When their food came out, so did a man from the shadows. “Can we help you?” Sebastian asked, trying to be friendly, learning through the decades with Alexander that chivalry can go a long way. However, the tiger soul inside him was angered by the interruption and fought back by extending his claws, wanting to get back to dinner with their husband. The stranger’s hands were in his pockets, a hood over his face, and his body trembling. This wasn’t a normal waiter or patron of the restaurant. Something was off, and it was apparent now. After not getting an answer, Sebastian stood up and tried to move the man away from their table; the last thing he wanted to do was put Alexander in danger. “I think you need to leave,” He said and raised his hands, trying to show that neither of them meant any harm. It had now been years since Sebastian had harmed another person. While his instincts were still to defend, his urge to kill was no longer there. The man turned his head up finally and caught Sebastian’s eyes. While the hooded man seemed fearful of the situation, his eyes showed only those of pure evil. Sebastian felt the other soul grow in defense, knowing he had to protect his husband. Sebastian and the other soul immediately knew this man was not one to be around. “Alexander ru-” Sebastian immediately started to say, turning his head to face Alex, needing to keep his husband safe over everything, his voice a mix of his own and the other soul’s as he was growing offensive. However, his order was interrupted as a sharp pain was felt in his throat. It took a moment to understand what happened, but as his eyes landed back on the man, he realized that the hooded stranger had plunged a dagger into his throat. Sebastian watched as the man pulled it out, seeing the scene in slow motion as he saw his own blood start to soak his shirt before he actually felt the full force of pain of it all. The stranger stumbled back, seemingly impressed that he went through with his own plan, and quickly turned to run away.
“No! Why?! How could you do this?! Sebastian!” Alexander screamed out and was able to catch his husband before Sebastian fell to the ground. “Sebastian- it’s okay, I am here. You’re okay,” He pleaded, tears falling down his cheeks as he held onto the larger man. Guards were able to hear the screams erupting from the restaurant and caught the man, but his capture meant nothing to Alexander as he watched Sebastian bleed out in his arms.
“I – I love you-” Sebastian coughed out, blood spitting past his lips. A shaky hand reached into his pocket and took out a small black box but could not lift his arm. Sebastian looked up to his husband, but soon his eyes, shimmering gold, slowly closed as blood-soaked down his body and pooled out of his mouth, and his chest rose for the last time.
“N-no… Please…” Alexander repeated pleas to any force that could hear him, screaming out for any larger being. He ignored any guards that tried to help, not letting them take his husband away from his arms. “Please just wake up, wake up, I am begging you,” He said as his own tears fell onto Sebastian’s face. Alexander held onto the body in his arms, shaking it every so often in hopes it would jar him awake, but nothing changed, Sebastian’s eyes stayed closed and more blood only pooled around them. Both souls were gone.
Alexander took the box and opened it, seeing the new ring and his cries only became more pained. What kind of monster would kill like this?! He supposed it was hypocritical to ask as he held a past killer in his arms, but he didn’t care.
It took weeks, but Alexander finally put the new ring on top of his original. It hurt, but it reminded him of his love. He spent his years in his new and bigger home, trying to make it feel like home again. It was hard not to look at the home as empty.
–—
Alexander spent the next 50 years alone. He wished he could’ve stayed in that home, but it hurt too much. He closed his store and moved his whole life to a village across the land, needing different scenery. He reopened his clothing shop and downsized into a small home all by himself.
–—
Across the land, a large man, a traveler, was roaming the woods and going from village to village. It wasn’t common for him to speak. If anything, he let out grunts and grumbles to anyone who dared talk to him- because who would willingly speak to a man with such a gruesome scar down his face? This man always seemed to have a mixture of dirt and a dried red liquid under his fingernails and clothes. He was human, but if anyone spoke of him, they would compare him to a wild animal.
The soul of the tiger came back to this plane. Sebastian died of a knife wound, but both souls were still intertwined together and stayed in the realm. Sebastian wished to cross over, wanting to watch his husband from above and know he was happy, but the tiger wasn’t finished. If anything, the tiger was stronger than before. They were brought back to the realm in a similar, well, identical body. In this second life, Sebastian was raised by his parents, unlike in his first, where his mother died at childbirth, and his father drank himself to death. That didn’t change their outcome because, at the age of fifteen, a simple argument between the three of them turned into Sebastian’s first two kills in his new era. Claw marks laced their bodies, and as the tiger decided he wasn’t finished, Sebastian ate their limbs.
Those kills were only the first. Like before, killing wasn’t new to the man; however, the tiger changed his intensity. It changed from one to two a month to three to five a week. Over the years, the tales of a mysterious animal killing dozens started to travel the land. People assumed it was a myth; no creature could kill like a beast but walk away like a human. It didn’t make sense.
However, it made sense to one person. The myths traveled to Alexander’s new town and the elf, now 180, knew precisely what beast could do a murder like that. Sebastian. His Sebastian. This sparked a new quest in his life. Alexander needed to find him; he needed to see his husband again. He had no idea how this was possible, but he figured he’d find out once he saw Sebastian. Alexander didn’t need to leave town, though. The myths also brought along a dead barmaid. Claw marks littered along her chest and chunks of her thighs and waist bit off her. That could only mean that Sebastian was in town. From the night the body was found, Alexander went from tavern to tavern, trying to see if Sebastian would be there.
On one lucky night, Alexander walked into one of the more run-down taverns and saw the back of a man. A large, muscular, and tall man with blond hair. He could never forget how his husband looked, even after 50 years. He took the risk of walking over to this newfound murderer and sitting directly across from him, holding his coat and trying to keep his face from showing how shocked he was to see Sebastian. The man looked just as he did the first night they met 80 years ago. However, this version of Sebastian was dirtier. He had dirt and grime on his hands and face, and his clothes didn’t seem like they had been cleaned in ages. Alexander couldn’t even imagine the turmoil he must’ve been through.
“Why the fuck are you sitting there?” Sebastian spoke, his voice low and gravely, as if he barely used it. Those words broke something within Alexander; Sebastian didn’t recognize him… “Fuck off to another table,” The beast added.
“No,” Alexander simply said, his voice a bit shaky. Just because Sebastian didn’t know him, he wasn’t going to give up. “I will sit here, thank you.” He said. “My name is Alexander,” He said and placed a hand out, allowing the other to shake it. Sebastian just stared at him, wondering why this strange small man spoke to him. He didn’t shake his hand. “Okay… well, we will get to that,” he said and smiled. Sebastian shook his head.
“What are you on about? You should get out of here.” He said to him, knowing that this man could quickly become the next victim. However, something pulled at him – the other soul. The other soul in him was confused and didn’t want this conversation to end quite yet. “Do you usually speak to strangers?” Sebastian spoke up again.
“No, but you are not a stranger,” Alexander said, trying to be as confident as possible. “You know me, and I know you.” He said to him and swallowed back the slight fear of admitting that to him.
“You’re fucking crazy,” Sebastian growled and went to stand up, done with his conversation, but he sat right back down. Not by Alexander, but by himself, but the other soul sat him back down. “What is your problem?” he hissed quietly to himself, his head ducking for a moment as if he was talking to someone who wasn’t there. He was. He was speaking to the other soul. This new life made him more beast than human, talking to the beast inside of him even though the only answer he got back was one to kill. Right now, the voice inside him instructed him to stay; this elf was important. Alexander watched curiously. He could only assume the soul was stronger than last time.
“Please, just listen to me… Let me try to explain. I will buy you dinner and all the ale you could want if you allow me to explain,” Alexander promised. Now that piqued his interest, and Sebastian nodded.
The next few hours were taken up by Alexander trying to tell him about his own past, not wanting to overwhelm the man. He talked about the old village and the old sewing shop. Alexander still wore the two rings on his hand, and he played with them as he spoke, hoping that maybe Sebastian would at least understand over time. He didn’t want to assume more than that, or else he would get his hopes up. Sebastian listened; however, he himself didn’t remember anything he was being told. The other soul understood; the other soul kept Sebastian here and made him sit through Alexander’s stories. Sebastian wasn’t sure about all of this. How did this complete stranger know him? However, some of the statements were wrong. Alexander spoke of Sebastian’s mother passing during birth, and Sebastian knew for a fact he slit his own mother’s throat. “I think… you somehow came back in a new life. You and… the other soul,” Alexander said, and then both Sebastian and the Beast perked up.
“How do you know about that?” Sebastian growled and then took a long breath, realizing that was a stupid question since this man already knew so much else.
“You had the soul of a tiger in you before too. It drove you to kill, and we worked together to calm him. You were able to live a normal life, the Tiger only showing face here and there. Can the soul hear me?” He asked. Sebastian gave a slight nod.
“They seem to remember more than me,” He admitted, a smile coming to Alexander’s lips. “I stopped killing?” He added after a moment, the idea of living a normal and quiet life seemed so nice but so out of reach. “You helped me?”
Alexander nodded and reached across the table to put his hands on Sebastian’s. “I did. And I would happily do it again,” He said softly. “If you’ll have me,” Alexander said and felt his hopes rising and his chest growing warm. He would have Sebastian back…
–—
The killings from the half-man-half-beast mythical creature seemed to stop. Almost a year after their second first meeting, Sebastian started remembering his past life with the help of the tiger’s soul and Alexander’s stories. He remembered the home he built for them and the proposal in the field. He even remembered his own death on their anniversary, feeling terrible about leaving the elf’s side too quickly. Sebastian learned about his past love for the man and quickly grew a newfound love for the elf. It felt as if it was meant to be, as if the two of them were pulled together through life. The man’s physique changed into something cleaner and more put together, helping out with customers at Alexander’s store. He wanted to be around him whenever he could. It made him feel at home.
It didn’t take long for the two to slip back into a normal pattern and domestic life; both men gave the other unconditional care and love, even more than before, if that was possible. The tiger’s murderous urges slowed like before, and of course, he adored Alexander just as he did 50 years ago. From there, a new proposal was asked, along with a new ring for Alexander. This time it had two diamonds in the center of a silver band, trying to one-up his past self. Their second wedding was one of beauty and grace, Alexander creating amazing outfits for the both of them. The two even wrote their own vows…
“…I never seemed to understand anything before I met you….” Sebastian spoke, happy tears filling his eyes and his cheeks warming up, giving off a slight pain from how long he had been smiling. “Well… I should say again, shouldn’t I? I am grateful you found me for a second time. I am so grateful to be standing here with you. I will show you from this point forward the love and care that you deserve, my darling.” After his five-minute-long exertion of love, Sebastian finished his vows, not caring how the priest was just waiting for him to stop talking. How could he not ramble on about how much he loved the one in front of him? Just looking at Alexander made him feel as if he owned the world. The priest then continued the back and forth, and soon enough, Sebastian got to say the beautiful words, “I do,” and kissed his new husband.
For twenty years, the two were together and married once again. Sebastian’s anger subsided, and his excitement grew for the rest of their lives. The elf didn’t seem to age as Sebastian did, his face still stunningly fair and his eyes young. Sebastian grew grey hairs between his blond and crow’s feet and emerged from the smiling over the past years.
Come their twentieth anniversary, the husbands sat in their home; Sebastian had a surprise for Alexander. He brought out some parchment and got them comfortable on the couch as he rolled it open. On the paper were blueprints for a new home. The dimensions were larger than their old one and even had a couple of spare bedrooms, kid’s bedrooms. “Once we pick a location, I can start building immediately. I want to give us our home,” Sebastian said, and immediately Alexander’s arms were around him, and both men released excited happy tears.
The tears were quickly interrupted as a back window was shattered. Both men sat up and looked around, leading Sebastian to stand up. “It’s probably just an animal,” Sebastian assured him, but he wasn’t so sure. The other soul inside him sure as hell didn’t believe that. Alexander reached out to try to stop him from looking, but Sebastian had already walked towards the window in the other room, seeing glass on the inside of their home but nothing around.
“S-Sebastian!” Alexander suddenly cried out from the living room. Sebastian ran back through the house and found Alexander with his hands up at a man dressed in all black, a knife in the stranger’s hands. “Please, we don’t have anything,” Alexander pleaded. The stranger didn’t listen and grabbed Alexander’s left hand and pulled off the rings from his finger, waving the knife to ensure he didn’t fight back.
Sebastian snapped, his claws growing as he ran toward the two of them, but the stranger was already too close. The knife plunged into Alexander’s side, and he ran out of the home, not taking his chance with a man with claws. “No!” Sebastian screamed, letting the stranger go, and immediately ran to Alexander’s side as the man fell to the ground.
“Please, I just got you back! I can’t lose you again! Alex, please! Keep your eyes open. Everything will be okay, I promise,” Sebastian spoke through broken cries. He could hear his husband trying to speak, but it only came out as gurgles of coughed-up blood. “Please, please… please…” The man repeated over and over until Alexander’s breathing came to a stop, and the blood continued to puddle around them.
Alexander was gone, and Sebastian started to feel that familiar feeling course through his blood once again. A feeling he had not felt for many years, thanks to his husband. The grip on the dead man grew tighter as Sebastian fell deeper and deeper into a quick state of denial. How could his husband be dead from a fucking burglar? A burglar! It isn’t like they had many valuables… They lived for their love and experiences, not the items they could purchase at any chachkie shop! The burglar did take Alexander’s wedding ring, though… and his life.
–—
Against the village’s hopes, the mythical murders started up once again. The first body that showed up was one of a man dressed in all black, the one who took Sebastian’s love from him. Alexander was gone; there was no bringing him back. That in itself allowed the Tiger to grow stronger once again, and Sebastian let him. It wasn’t long until the whole village was pillaged. Everyone who once lived there was gone, becoming a ghost town before Sebastian left. Each home and marketplace was littered with bloodied and chewed-up bodies. The tiger didn’t let anyone go. The screaming and pleas from the village people meant nothing to him. Before traveling, all he took with him was a drawing of Alexander he had professionally done, telling Alexander, “I want to be able to see your beauty when you’re not in the room.”
Sebastian had no reason to hold the other soul back. Over the following years, the creature’s myths grew again, and the bodies he left behind were mutilated and eaten. He had his love taken away from him, and now he planned to take the lives of the world around him… then, one day, his own.
–—
Months turned into years as Sebastian traveled the lands. Each kill was decaying the side of Sebastian he knew so well. He became less and less like the self he had learned to love and became the other soul inside him. The tiger was in control more times than not, barely allowing Sebastian to eat a proper meal that wasn’t the flesh of others. Sebastian was getting to the end of his line; he wasn’t happy and knew that his life wasn’t looking up. He wouldn’t be alive long enough to keep his hopes of meeting a new Alexander. Alexander had the benefit of being an elf, which was taken away from him in his death. Sebastian had lost his will to keep going.
In hopes of both starving the tiger and ending himself, he headed off into the desert. He imagined it could be the perfect place to give himself the death he deserved. At this point, counting both lives he had lived, he had killed hundreds upon hundreds of people, and Sebastian knew he deserved a death that would properly torture himself. A death that would starve him, dehydrate him, cause him to be delirious, and lead him to a painful end. He wanted to torture himself and the tiger inside of him. Give them both the penalties for the crimes they’ve committed.
He expected death to come in around ten days. He could feel his stomach churn in pain, and his throat and tongue sting and crack from the heat and sands of the desert. The tiger inside him was crying for food and remedies, but none came. On day seven, Sebastian could swear he heard Alexander’s voice from far out into the sands. It caused him to wander in that direction, hoping to find his love and possibly be his better self again. Even the tiger within him thought this was true, hoping to see the other man just as much as Sebastian. The man wandered until he thought he saw something in the distance—a village. However, a village in the middle of the desert didn’t make much sense, but that is where Alexander’s voice was coming from. Before he could make it much farther, the man collapsed into the sands. Delusion and heat became too much, and his body seemed to fall into a comatose state.
He lay here for a few hours before two men in rag-like clothes and hoods found him. They mumbled to themselves before grabbing one hand of Sebastian’s each and dragging him through the thick sands. These two men brought the unconscious human to the village, as there really was a village deep in those never-ending deserts. The scavengers thought Sebastian to be dead, he wasn’t breathing, to their knowledge, and his pale tones and sunken eyes sure didn’t help the assumption. They continued to drag the human into the village and traveled to the one person they thought could help. Sarha-Khanu.
The two outsiders rushed the large man into the village’s library, where the Priest resigned. Still unconscious, Sebastian was tossed onto the carpet in front of Sarha. Mumbles from the two men explained that they found this dead man in the desert and knew Sarha could help with his burial and bring him a good afterlife. Sarha quickly shooed the two out of his library and immediately went to tend to the human. He brushed the sand off Sebastian’s face to get a better look, and as he did, the man’s blue eyes shot open, and his hands immediately went around the Priest’s neck and flipped them, so he was on top of this… dragon? “Where am I? Who are you? Why are you touching me?” Sebastian growled down to the other. He looked over his face and saw that Sebastian wasn’t startling him, as if this was an everyday occurrence. Sebastian ended up taking his hands away and standing up, finally getting the chance to look around. He was in a library.
“You are not dead….” The Dragonborn said and stood up, looking at this clearly disheveled human. Sebastian rolled his eyes and looked at him.
“No. I am not. So can I please get back into the desert so I can be dead?” He hissed out, glaring over at the bronze dragon. He’s never seen anything like him before. Sebastian looked around, found the door he must’ve entered, and started walking towards it. Before he got far, his arm was grabbed.
“You’re clearly delusional from your lack of water. Come, come. I will give you a drink,” The other spoke and let go of his arm to start motioning deeper into the library. Sebastian observed him, hesitant to his kindness, but it was evident that this man wouldn’t let him go. Sebastian would have to escape when he wasn’t looking… or find another way to achieve his mission.
“Fine,” he finally grumbled; the tiger soul was certainly not happy that Sebastian agreed and wasn’t trying to kill the Dragonborn. Sebastian followed him into a small library seating area and was handed a glass of water. He stared down at it, and when it lifted it to his lips, he drank it in mere seconds. His glass was filled again, and Sebastian continued to drink.
“I am Sarha-Khanu from house Khanu, descendant of Nakht,” Sarha spoke as he was now pouring Sebastian a third glass of water. Survival instincts seemed to kick in with the human, and now all he wanted was water, even though he hated the idea of saving himself.
“Why should I care?” Sebastian finally said through his sips.
“Care about what?” Sarha asked with a slight cock of the head as he looked at Sebastian.
“I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to be here. I don’t care who you are. I want to return to the desert and continue doing what I was doing.” He rambled a bit, almost pleading to allow himself to get back to the desert, to get back to death. “I had your water; now let me leave,” He finally finished and put the glass down.
“What are you looking for in the desert? It is too large of a place to go wander without a guide,” The Dragonborn asked.
“I don’t need to tell you.” Sebastian snapped. “I have my own reasons for being here.” He said and glanced down at the floor for a moment. He hasn’t spoken his reasoning out loud. Sebastian had barely talked to anyone over the past few years, never mind confessing his suicide plans. He had a lost look on his face as he looked back up at the Dragonborn.
“Well, whatever they might be, I am sure I can help,” Sarha spoke, being quite optimistic about this conversation. However, Sebastian was not having it. The human shook his head and clenched his fists a bit.
“Listen, you shiny scaled cretin, I am here for one thing and one thing only, and if you don’t allow me to go back out there to finally end this horrid life of mine, I will end yours before you can ask one more stupid question,” Sebastian growled out, the blue in his eyes showing a hint of yellow along with his nails trying to grow into sharp claws.
“End your life? Death is never an answer, my friend; the other side will not answer your questions, will not cure your woes; what lies next is only for those who have lived their life.”
“I have lived my life. I am finished on this realm,” He answered and shook his head. “I have nothing left here, and I am only causing more pain by staying. A desert death is one that I deserve and will endure with no hesitation.” He said to Sarha.
“Whatever pain you may carry, we can remedy here. Please, my friend, do not leave to the harsh desert sun. I have a room where you may lay your head, and tomorrow I shall show you all the reasons you must yet live.”
Sebastian looked at him, pausing before he finally answered. “Fine,” he said once more to this strange new acquaintance. The Dragonborn excitedly led him towards a hallway within the library that led to some sort of temple. Sebastian had no idea what to think of this whole place. If anything, he assumed it was a cult. It wouldn’t be an issue for much longer. Sarha got him to a small private room, something simple, just a cot, a nightstand, and a chest for someone’s things. Sebastian didn’t carry much with him. He had one bag with extra clothes, but most items were on his person. He was left alone in his room and sat down on his bed. How was this Dragonborn supposed to show him that life was worth living? He sure as hell didn’t believe that, and he didn’t see himself changing his opinion so easily.
Sebastian’s opinion didn’t change. He knew he didn’t want to listen to whatever argument the new man would start with him. He didn’t want to waste his last moments of life. He would end this his way. Sebastian took out the now crinkly and faded drawing of Alexander and held it in his left hand. His right hand came forward, and he extended his index finger claw. “I will see you soon, Alexander,” He said to himself. Soon his claw was pressed into his forearm, cutting a deep line down to his wrist, down to the bone. He didn’t even wince; the pain was nothing compared to what he had gone through in the past years. He only cut one wrist, still wanting a slow and torturous death. The tiger inside of him growled and tried to make it stop, but as both souls started to get tired and Sebastian’s eyes fell closed, his body sat on the floor, limp, bleeding out, and soon dead.
His body lay there for hours as the night passed. It wasn’t until morning when Sarha knocked on the door. With no answer, the Dragonborn entered the room, seeing a pool of blood surrounding the other man. He didn’t hesitate to rush to the man’s side and get him onto a blanket to try to drag him out of the library. This man didn’t deserve death. He deserved another chance to redeem himself and grow into a person he could be proud of. Sebastian’s dead body was dragged out into the town to the temple of Kan-Ra. This is where their burials and rituals took place, and Sarha needed all the help he could get from the other priests.
The priests didn’t take long to huddle around the body, quietly questioning why the Dragonborn cared so much to bring him back. Rehabilitation and growth was the answer. It took almost two hours for the group to be able to secure what they needed and conduct the ritual. It closed the wrist wound, leaving a deep scar that would never heal. Sarha was nervous the ritual didn’t work when Sebastian didn’t seem to move and react after the steps. He leaned down and tried to shake his shoulder for any sign of life, but there was nothing.
Two souls needed to be brought back into Sebastian’s body. It took a bit longer to find them and reel them back in. After half an hour of no movement, the other priests left Sarha with the man, assuming it didn’t work. Then, his hands started to twitch. Sebastian’s eyes began to shift underneath his eyelids, and he soon breathed again. He shot up with a gasp of air; once again, he awoke in an unknown area with Sarha staring down at him. Of course, anger erupted from him, and he tried to move away, feeling sand under his body. “Wh-what happened? What did you do? I was dead!” He shouted and looked down at his healed wrist. “I… I was supposed to be dead,” He said, anger subsiding to let sadness show its face. The Dragonborn shook his head and put a hand on his wrist.
“You deserve redemption. To become better. Live a happy life,” Sarha said to him. “No more hurting yourself or others. You can do better,” He said, almost as a promise and a challenge to the human. Sebastian pulled his wrist away and stood up, wobbly for a moment before getting his balance.
“You are crazy. This place is crazy. I am leaving,” Sebastian shouted and looked around to see a few fearful priests. “I-I am leaving,” Sebastian said and attempted to rush past him, but Sarha grabbed him one last time.
“You may leave. However, please consider a life of happiness and health,” He said softly. “Don’t bring more pain upon this world,” He said and let go. Sebastian seemed to listen for a moment before he turned and left.
—
Sebastian was given a third chance at life. A man who no longer knew if he was driven by his own soul, the Tiger’s, or this strange Priest, he met in the desert. He was alive, now trying to find a way of life without the same motivations before. When is there a limit to the lives one person should live before it becomes too much to bear?